


You'll Find Love

by mggislife2789



Category: Criminal Minds, Spencer Reid - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-30
Updated: 2016-11-30
Packaged: 2018-09-03 03:58:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8695750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: The reader has had feelings for her best friend, Spencer, for years, but the love of his life Maeve Donovan was recently shot in front of him. Should she tell him how she feels?Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only for fun. It's where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended. Better safe than sorry. ;)





	

Knock. Knock. Knock.

“Spence...” you said quietly, your heart in your throat. “Please let me in. You shouldn’t be alone right now.”

Without a word, he opened the door, his face looking much more drawn and worn out than it had before. Losing the one you love could do that to you. You understood - accept you hadn’t lost him, he was standing right in front of you, forlorn over another woman. For years, you’d harbored feelings for the boy genius and only when he started speaking to Maeve did you understand the depth of them. You loved Spencer, but you would’ve never wished for what happened.  
The love of his life was shot in the head directly in front of him. He tried so hard to save her, but the unsub was too deranged to get through to. Spencer had taken leave from the BAU to grieve, but hadn’t left his apartment for nearly two weeks. The first week, he wouldn’t see anyone. You were pretty sure he wouldn’t have let his mother into his grieving space. However, this past week he’d let you in once or twice.

You were his best friend; you’d immediately clicked when you started at the BAU nearly six years ago. There was nothing you didn’t tell each other - well, accept for the little fact that you were in love with him.

“Spence, come here,” you said. He needed some kind of contact - to know he wasn’t alone. You wrapped your arms around his waist, just standing there as you swayed back as forth. “I’m so sorry,” you cried. Granted you loved him, but this wasn’t what you wanted for him. If you could’ve saved her you would have. Absolutely.

“It’s my fault,” he cracked. “She’s dead because of me.”

You sat him down on the couch. There was nothing he could’ve done. Nothing. “Spence, listen to me,” you said, placing your finger under his chin to get him to look at you. “This was not your fault.”

He opened his mouth to speak, but you continued, determined. “You did everything you could’ve possibly done. You tried everything. Every possible way of communicating with her and she twisted your words at every turn. Nothing you could’ve said would’ve made a difference. This was her fault, not yours.”  
“I just...it makes me wonder what I’m doing any of this for,” he said, the tears quietly streaming down his face. “If I couldn’t save her, the woman I love...”

You looked down. You knew he loved her, but hearing it so emphatically was like a vice grip on your heart.

“If I couldn’t save her, then...maybe I don’t deserve to fall in love again. I won’t be able to protect them,” he said defeated. “She was the only woman that’s ever loved me - the real me.”

“You are the most deserving man I’ve ever met,” you cried. “And you’ll find someone worthy of you one day. There are plenty of people that love you.”

“Sure,” he said, crossing his hands over his chest and laying his head in his arms.

“There are, Spence. I love you,” you blurted out, your tears falling onto his hands, which you were still holding. His head popped up, a look of stunned disbelief and sadness.

“You...” he cracked, his lips quivering at the revelation.

“I-I...Spence, I didn’t mean for that to come out. This is not...” you began, a rambling explanation about to pour out of you. 

“How long?” he asked clearly.

You pulled your hands from his, feeling as though the physical touch was no longer appropriate considering he knew how you felt about him. “Since I started. I’m sorry,” you sobbed. “I’m sorry I never told you. I’m sorry about Maeve. I never wanted this to happen. I would trade places with her if I could... Seeing you this miserable kills me...I’ll go now,” you said, standing up, ragged breaths catching in your throat.

“Y/N, please don’t leave,” he called after you. “I-I don’t know how to react to this information right now, but please don’t leave me. You’re the only one I trust to let this close. Please,” he croaked.

You turned around, seeing the look of fear in his eyes. You knew he always loved you as a best friend, that was never in question; he was afraid to lose you. For now, that would be enough.

Again, you walked back toward the couch where he’d stood up and returned your hands to his waist, burying your head in his chest. “We don’t have to say anything, Spence,” you mumbled, looking at the couch. “I can just sit here with you.”

“Please,” he said, shaking his head. “I can’t say anything right now about...”

“Spence, I know.” Both of you sat back down on the couch, pulling the blanket over you. “We don’t have to talk about it now. I just need you to know you’re not alone.”


End file.
